|The Gerber Baby is Watching You
January 14th, 2003 --
Have you ever read "1984"? You know, they've
got all the posters of "Big Brother Is Watching You" all over the damned place. I wonder why no one in America thought
about trying this out. But replace the Stalin-esque face with that of the Gerber Baby. Look at him there... he's
absolutely TERRIFYING! That would keep my ass in line. Those Large eyes, his mouth agape... I'm not really sure
that he is of this world. Maybe it's just me.
Ok, so a rant for this month is Out-Of-Control Football Fans. Now, I like football as much as the next red-blooded
American. It's in our nature to want to see large men destroy one another over a small ball. Especally if it's
the Green Bay Packers. Well, they're my boys anyways. What I can't comprehend though, are these guys who
make it a habit to be at EVERY SINGLE GAME, reguardless of weather conditions, traffic hazards, parking spaces, or plain common
sense. You know who I'm talking about. It's that one guy who is at the Vikings Game, in 2 degree weather, and
he's naked as a jaybird, save for the Gold and Purple paint on his body. Ever notice that it's always someone who is
about 400 lbs. overweight? This isn't a coincidence. I think it's part of God's plan to eliminate these people.